


Grump Monster

by Cerdic519



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Breakfast in Bed, Caring Castiel, Cute Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Grumpy Castiel, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, National Pie Day, Sharing a Bed, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-02 10:58:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5245772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerdic519/pseuds/Cerdic519
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there were a list of the ten things Dean Winchester fears the most in his life, there would be one clear winner..... the lethal combination of Cas and mornings!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean Winchester had faced down many terrible things, both supernatural and human, in his life. He'd never had the time to sit down and compile a list of the worst, but if he had, it would have gone from two through ten. Because number one was already taken.

It was Saturday morning, definitely the most difficult morning of the week in the Winchester-Novak household. Mondays through Fridays, they both had to work, so they had to get up at a set time. Sundays, they could just take their time and stay in bed as long as they wanted. But Saturdays, when things like shopping and cleaning needed to be done – Saturday morning was a special kind of hell!

Dean woke early, and as usual found that their huge fluffy duvet was wrapped totally around his sleeping partner, who was dead to the world. Mr. Comatose had never been good in the mornings, but now that he was totally and irrevocably human, things had gotten infinitely worse. Cas in the mornings – Oscar the Grouch had nothing on him!

Dean had the good sense (i.e. the self-preservation) to slip quietly out and go downstairs to make coffee and pop-tarts - Cas got through the latter at a phenomenal rate – and then take the tray back up to his husband. And to make sure to place it on the table well away from the bed; the ex-angel had lashed out on one memorable occasion, as the faint brown stain on the wall bore witness. Dean then slipped briefly into his walk-in closet (which Sammy must never know about), before returning to the bed and lying next to the duvet bundle.

“I smell coffee!” growled a familiar voice. “Better be sugar!”

“There is, o grump monster”, Dean teased.

“Not a grump monster!” Castiel shot back. “Too early. Go back to sleep.”

“You took all the covers again”, Dean pointed out.

“Get some more.” Incredibly, the one-time celestial being managed to bury himself even deeper into his self-made cocoon. “G'way!”

Dean leaned over to where the usual impossible bedhead was protruding from the top of the covers.

“I'm wearing the panties again!” he teased.

He felt his husband freeze, then Cas somehow managed to maneuver himself and his cocoon until both were on top of Dean. The hunter felt a rough hand checking to see if he had been telling the truth, and even though he could not see Cas' face, he knew that the ex-angel was smiling. Cas then eased off of him and only slowly let go of the panties.

“Get me coffee, and we'll talk about it”, he grumbled.

“Coffee and your favorite raspberry pop-tarts”, Dean grinned, moving swiftly across the room to fetch the tray. He placed it on the bedside table and waited. Sure enough, eventually Cas' head emerged from the covers, looking squinty and generally displeased with the world.

“Food!” he muttered.

“Yes, o grump monster!” Dean grinned, taking the plate and holding it over to his husband, who opened his mouth expectantly. Dean sighed, but fed him the two pop-tarts, even wiping his mouth afterwards (the grub could make a mess out of anything).

Cas nodded, satisfied. He then emerged slowly from the duvet, until he was sat astride Dean, eying the blue panties with evident satisfaction. Then he reached over to start on the coffee.

“Wouldn't you rather have me rather than coffee?” Dean asked, waggling his eyebrows.

“No”, the former angel said shortly. “Coffee first, sex later.”

Dean stared up at him, still half-unable to believe that he finally had this. True, Cas was terrible most mornings and appalling on days like today, but he loved his grumpy cat and wouldn't have had him any other way. 

Cas finished his coffee with a satisfied sigh, and started to cocoon himself back into the duvet again. This time however he took Dean with him, folding their bodies together until they were wrapped tightly, safe from the cold world of superstores and scrubbing-brushes. The hunter sighed contentedly. Good things did happen, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean can be a fast mover when the need arises.

It was all a question of timing.

Charlie, bless the girl, had managed to get him an extended version of the old Mission: Impossible theme, and Dean had it ready by the CD player. New bedding and sheets were ready in the fourth drawer down, just waiting for the opportunity to use them.

Mercifully Cas being human meant he had human needs, which meant that he had (eventually) to go to the bathroom. And much as Dean liked to join his mate in their frisky morning showers, Cas on a Saturday was still relatively incoherent. Indeed, on one memorable occasion he had somehow gotten himself into the shower whilst still wrapped in their duvet. Dean had had to wring the thing out before throwing it in the wash, and had been hard put not to laugh at the former angel. His husband was such a dork!

Finally Cas decided that his bodily needs were more important that cuddling with his husband (yup, Dean Winchester cuddled, so what?), and the little scruff slouched off in the direction of the bathroom, remembering this time to let the duvet fall to the floor halfway there. Dean was distracted by the mighty fine sight that resulted – you could bounce a quarter off that butt! - but once the door was shut he leaped into action, running over to start the music before pulling all the fresh bedding out. 

He could picture the fuse burning slowly and inexorably away, and he efficiently stripped the old bedding off and threw it and the duvet cover into their laundry basket (yup, Dean Winchester had a laundry basket, and if his brother made any more comments on that, it'd be Nair-in-shampoo time again!). He heard the sound of the shower starting sooner than he'd hoped – Cas never took long showers in the morning unless Dean was in with him – and started the difficult task of shaking their favorite blue cover over the duvet. It had been a present from Sam and Charlie, and had little angels all over it. 

He'd been surprised that the look Cas had given them hadn't turned them both to dust!

The pillows were fluffed and he was doing up the last of the cover's poppers when the bathroom door opened, and Cas lurched across the room. Stark naked of course; the idea of covering himself up never occurred to the ex-angel, even when he was functioning properly. His hair was even more of a wreck that usual (which was saying something!), and he squinted at Dean in the dim light through the closed curtains.

Then he smiled, and Dean promptly melted. God, but this guy was so gorgeous. And he was all his!

“You want more coffee?” Dean asked, pulling back the duvet on the remade bed.

Cas seemed to consider that offer for some time. Then the look on his face changed to a slow, lazy smile. It was a smile that promised very good things for a certain green-eyed person in the immediate vicinity.

“Coffee later”, he muttered, looping his finger into Dean's panties and dragging the taller man onto the bed. “Sex first!”

On their CD player, the TV theme finished and some romantic ballad came on. It could have been Tibetan throat-singing for all Dean cared; he had his own personal angel, and all was right with the world.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you're good....

Sam stared incredulously at his brother.

“But...”

“Keep your voice down!” Dean hissed, gently patting the impossible hair nestled on his chest. Cas gave a small growl at the disturbance, but did not wake up.

“But you've been waiting ages for this Star Wars marathon to hit the big screen”, Sam said quietly.

“So?” Dean said. His brother continues to stare at him.

“So I can't disturb Cas”, Dean said simply. The little grump monster had told Dean he was still fine for the marathon when he had come in from work earlier, but hadn't lasted five minutes in the back of the car before dozing off. He nestled even closer to Dean, and grumbled under his breath.

“Can it, Sam”, Jess said with a grin. “Dean just wants some cuddle time with his angel.”

“I do not cuddle!” Dean said, a little too loudly. Cas grumbled again, and somehow managed to wrap himself even tighter around a husband who, if truth be told, didn't really want to be anywhere else right now. Even if that somewhere else was a Star Wars marathon that he had been enthusing (' no Charlie, I am not fangirling or even fanboying, dammit!') for months. 

“We'll leave you to it, then”, Sam smiled. He looked indignantly at his wife when she prodded him, and sighed in a put-upon manner. “Fine, we'll bring you popcorn first.” Another prod. "Ow! And drinks."

“You two are so gone on each other”, Jess grinned as she follows her husband out of the car. 

Dean looked down on the grump monster who is now drooling slightly on his top, and wondered for God alone what number of times how he got so lucky.

“Yeah”, he said quietly. “I'm whipped.”

“Maybe later”, Cas muttered. “If you're very very good.”

“Why you sneaky little.....”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the wrong coffee....

“I didn't like it”, Sam said pulling a face, “but then I'm not the coffee person in my house.”

Charlie scoffed and put her own drink down.

“Yeah, we both know who that is!” she grinned. “I wonder what will happen to Cas when Dean gives him some of this double-caffeinated coffee?”

“No-one would be that dumb!” Sam retorted.

There was approximately eight seconds of painful silence.

“Charlie, please tell me you did not....”

“I substituted it for regular coffee before Dean was up this morning”, she said brightly. “He didn't notice.”

“Oh Chuck!”

“I know. But judging from the lack of screams from anywhere in this place, I'm guessing it had no real....”

She was interrupted by the arrival of Dean. Or to be more exact, the arrival of what was left of Dean. He was dressed in his favorite dressing-gown (which hung half-off one shoulder), and looked like he had just stepped out of Purgatory. He stumbled to the table, all but fell onto a chair, then put his head onto his folded arms and promptly fell asleep. Sam and Charlie looked at each other in confusion.

“Dean?” Sam asked. His answer was a loud snore.

“Dean!” Charlie called out.

That got a response. Dean raised a pair of bloodshot eyes, and looked vaguely in her direction. 

“What... you... coffee?” he croaked. His brother winced as he saw several very large and impressive hickeys around his brother's neck.

“We're trying a double-caffeinated coffee”, Charlie said brightly. “Did Cas like it?”

“He broke me!” Dean muttered. “I can never have sex again!”

“Oh Dean.”

They all turned to see Cas (thankfully wearing his own dressing-gown, Sam was relieved to note) leaning against the doorpost. He was eying Dean in much the same way that a starving dog would look at a steak. The hunter managed a low moan but nodded dutifully, stood up and staggered over only for Cas to stop him.

“I need more of that coffee”, he growled. Before Sam could say anything the former angel had grabbed his mug and devoured the contents, licking his lips (Sam would spend some hours trying to forget the look on his face) and then striding back to Dean in two steps and sweeping him off his feet. And he was gone.

“Should we rescue him?” Charlie ventured.

“Sure, go ahead”, Sam said. “The coffee was your bright idea!”

She smirked.

+~+~+

The good news was that Cas' soundproofing runes still worked perfectly. The bad news was that the flickering and occasionally exploding lights told them both pretty much what was happening and when anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's National Pie Day!

Dean woke to an unusual feeling, and it took his befuddled mind some moments to process just what was wrong.

There wasn't an angel in his bed. 

He sat up sharply. Cas never got out of bed early except if he had an appointment somewhere, or if it was a special occasion. Dean reached frantically for his phone and checked the calendar. Nope, no birthdays or anniversaries, and besides, Charlie had set it up to remind him fourteen days before each one. And the again seven days before. And three. And one.

Not that Dean was forgetful, of course.

So what had persuaded the Grump Monster to drag himself out of bed at this horrible hour? The bathroom adjoined their room, and there were no sounds of Cas having a shower in there, which (according to Little Dean) was a damn shame. And neither was there any burning smell, which meant that Cas hadn't been trying out his generally disastrous kitchen skills again. 

The hunter was about to drag himself downstairs to investigate when he heard a creak from a floorboard, and moments later the little scruff re-entered the room. Dean's eyes widened, not just at the delectable sight of his husband whose dressing-gown hung open as always, but at what he was carrying – a silver tray containing a huge pie and a bowl of custard, both steaming gently.

“Today is National Pie Day”, Cas said, “so I thought that you would like to have pie for breakfast. I got this from the bakery you like in town.”

Dean could feel his eyes watering. Damn hay fever in December.

“You're such a great husband”, he smiled. 

“And once you are done, we can spend a long lazy weekend with you fucking me, while you wear that Sherlock hat you like”, Cas said amiably.

Breathe. Dean was sure he had been able to do that without thinking about it not that long ago.

“Pie or sex?” he protested.

“Both”, Cas grinned. “Just not at the same time.”

He cut his husband a generous slice of pie, and grinned as Dean's eyes lit up. It was gonna be a fun weekend, for both of them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Valentine's Day - so can Dean make the grump monster crack a smile?

Cas knew that, by any definition of the term, he was not the most cheerful person of a morning (although his husband's 'a scowl that could strip paint' had, he felt, been pushing it). So when Dean had suggested a bet to see if Cas could go a whole day without smiling, he had of course accepted. Especially because his husband – a wonderful human being, but not one for chick flick moments – had suggested doing it on Valentine's Day. It had been 'hard' work that morning when Dean had woken him with a surprise blow-job, but as there had had not been any coffee, Cas had kept his scowl firmly in place. He was bound to win this bet!

There may have been the occasional slight upwards twitch of one side of his mouth at the stream of romantic texts that his husband sent him that day – Dean even managed a cute kitten and baby video, which was adorable – but Cas kept resolutely to his blank expression. He was not gonna smile, because he knew that if he did, he was bound to admit it to his husband, and Dean would then spend the rest of February and probably most of March in Smug Heaven!

Cas' resolution held until he came home that evening, and drew his 'pimpmobile' (as Dean called it) to a halt in the garage. There was a red paper heart on the door into the kitchen with 'I Wuv My Angel' on it, and even a drawing of some cartoon wings, but Cas' face held firm. 

At least until he opened the door and entered a kitchen that looked as if the entire Valentine's section at Wal-Mart had exploded there. There were floaty balloons, red hearts all over the place, and Dean was stood at the stove cooking burgers and fries for him. Cas' lower lip quivered.

“Happy Valentine's Day, my love”, Dean said softly.

Cas tried. He really, really tried. But it was no good; he felt an inevitable twitch at the side of his mouth, and before he could stop himself, he was smiling like a loon. At least until Dean whipped out his phone and took a shot of his grinning face.

“Ha!” he said. “Sammy and Charlie were so sure you wouldn't crack, but I told them I'd win!”

“You bet on me with your brother and your best friend?” Cas asked, only mildly annoyed. “Dean, I am going to have to punish you for that.”

His husband batted his eyelashes at him, which only set the professor off again.

“Promise?”


End file.
